Liberty in Repose

When the heat is on like it has been for the past few weeks I think everyone should just be able to take a holiday like they do in Europe. Entire towns close so everyone can escape the season. The trashmen, the bakers, even the mail service. (ok, well, I'm not sure about that one...) all go AWAY. Or read. Or garden. Or lay in the sun... whatever. Oban, (the town where the scotch by the same name is distilled)....where we were officially married, is one of the towns that many escaped to back when this practice was more common.

We need a break that doesn't require a hurricane or snow storm to enforce some stillness aound here. Its too hot! I know, I know...it won't happen. But it should. One sabbath day isn't enough anyway...even the Bible Belt doesn't recognize the Sabbath anymore. Traffic does lapse while everyone is at church...other than that its business as usual.

I am not suggesting another blue law or anything like that...just a well needed break for EVERYONE...how about a paid vacation? I would support any politician who would spend some of our tax dollars on a paid vacation for EVERYONE. It might even help bring the peace.

Rising temperatures

I am an escapist.
There is no doubt about it. I love being home... I just love it more after I've been away... for awhile.

It will be 98 degrees today, not including the heat index. Its around 8am and the humidity is 93 percent. I think escapism may be on the rise.

Biblical weather

I've been talking about my work a lot lately. Its not what I do best but it is part of the job. I am a maker more than a talker although I find words to be facinating, inspiring, cheap, referential and stimulating. I've been reading Hemingway this summer. Good for inspiration. Bad for work. He's hard to put down.

Artistry and context combined with necessity and need....can a blog do all that? I think so.
I've read a few of late that come very close and its one of the reasons I haven't finished Hem...(!)

I am very connected to the two people depicted above. We have history and are all very committed to the relationship we have. Its a beautiful thing. I hope we can all make more time for each other this fall. Everyone stays so active the only time we make to 'sit on the porch' is when there is some sort of enforced stillness....(snow storm, power outage, biblical weather!)
The B-52s did a song about that way back when...on their Love Shack record. I realized then that those times have mostly come and gone unless I escape to Mississippi and visit my ancient relatives. (The big topic of conversation is usually what to cook for supper. My family knows how to cook. It comes more naturally than walking.)

Unfortunately I didn't inherit the cooking genes.

This piece above is titled "Perfect Lovers." by F.G. Torres. It works on so many levels... as time passes these two synchronized clocks become out of synch... much like we do in real life.

knots and ties

I love this image of my friend, G. She is a force to be loved, admired, befriended, puzzled by. confused by and cherished...

We spent 4 or 5 monthes as neighbors back when we were at the end of one life and the beginning of another... a life where men were always left floating in the wake.

We live in different worlds now and don't hear from each other often. She surprised me a while back when she called me the first night I was back in her town. I hadn't heard from her in many years and had tried to track her down on the internet. I guess it worked.

Our time together late last year meant so much to me. We were both under pressure with our work but we tried to be there for each other. During my last 10 days in town she couldn't be reached and wouldn't return my phone calls or emails. I have tried not to overreact...which is what I am prone to do when I sense something is wrong with someone I care about.

I haven't pursued an explanation from her and I haven't written her but it not because I haven't wondered what the heck happened. She is a very European women... and when she becomes tired of someone she simply writes them off. Its a practice that I still don't fully understand and I guess I never will if I don't hear from her again.

Heavy Weather

Maybe its Mars, maybe the weather. Whatever it is, its got me chasing my tail all week. Kittens don't know any better. I do.

My "higher level executive" skills are either on vacation or maybe they are finally short circuting from my concussion as that neurologist suggested. Whatever the reason August feels like the calm before the storm.

Counter-Weight

I've been in such a hole in my head the past week that I needed to counter it with something positve. Art isn't enough...but art about LOVE might be. Several years ago my beloved and I collaborated on a performance/installation piece titled "Venus Rising." It was designed to honor my muse, now OUR muse, Aphrodite and to attempt to tell her story in her words.

It was a great way for us to deal with a long distance separation. I was teaching across the country and he was holding down the fort at home. We emailed this monologue back and forth to each other for monthes. The final version was performed by an actress/muse we knew - in a galleries and performance spaces throughout the southern and mid-atlantic states and we've shown the video of it just about everywhere. Still, I think it is best experienced live... either by listening to Aphrodite tell her story or by reading it.

I will be posting several sections of the monologue each week at:

http://daysnightsofaphrodite.blogspot.com/


She reminds us to make love, not war. Love is tough enough.

le petit morde

It's been one of those weeks I would be taking Ambien if I had a really early day to rest up for. The stars were in my favor this spring when the summer schedule came together. I would have a hard time commuting across the state to teach a morning class this summer with so much keeping me up at night.

Bushmill helps! Miro's early wake up call helps. She is determined to get us out of bed since she has embraced the idea that she is the alpha creature under this roof. It would be funny if our wee Flannery weren't victim to her shrill howling and claws whenever the two doth meet.

In the meantime I divide the time I am not in the studio or at my desk or in class or in the garden between them. All would be easier if they could travel to these places with me but that would be a recipe for disaster.

That's a list I should be collecting for posting :

Recipes for Disaster.

Hey, anyone out there smell impending doom? Send me your recipe! Your top ten! I will post them for all to see and learn to avoid. If only we could learn from others....that would be an interesting list as well:

Lessons to Avoid Learning First Hand.

New Mantra

Its usually disappointment or the shock of the new that unravels me. I hate being told no. My dad was very demanding and strict and the answer to most things growing up was always no. It taught me to go out into the world and empower myself. My Dad wonders why his kids all live on different coasts now. He taught us to be independent and self-sufficient. It goes with the territory.

Now, I am reminded of why I left my tenure in 1997 for the life of a recovering academic. Since 2001 I have been teaching the same schedule every semester (as adjunct faculty) at another university - a place I respect. There has been a giant shift in the administration of the department over the past few months and now I have received a letter saying that there aren't any classes for me this semester. Never mind that I received a letter earlier in the summer encouraging people to put in new proposals since there was faculty shortage or the fact that I encouraged friends who have no experience teaching in higher education to give it a shot (they got classes)....

It is a giant wake up call and reminder that in the real world if you need more pie you make more pie. In academia if you need more pie you are forced to take someone elses. It seems I gave mine away without realizing it. Adjunct pay is nothing to brag about but it has afforded me the flexibility I needed to pursue my creative work. I am trying to look at this as a gift. A gift of time to put into other projects... a reality check and reminder that I don't want to become one the numerous bitter terminal adjunct faculty members who give the university 20 plus years of their life with no benefits, retirement, etc.

Of course I have questions....will I be able to make up the income? How? Ebay? Art sales? (unlikely) Who knows? Do I want to look for classes in other departments? It may be inevitable in the long run. Why did I get nixed? (because I applied for the new director's job?) Who knew? I didn't know it was his job nor would anyone ever think he would now be the interim director. The place is a political quagmire at the moment. The last place I need to be.

When I left my tenured position for another job close to my parents (they promised me tenure in a year but I wasn't ready to relocate after it was all said and done...) the secretary of my tenured institution (!) told me I needed to learn how to kiss ass....(!) and I would have an easier time wherever I went...(!)

OHHHHHH! That's the problem, I said...you, know...I was a vegetarian for a large portion of my life and I never liked the taste of ass! So...I am not an ass kisser. I do my job, do it as well as I can...sometimes brilliantly, sometimes I struggle. So much depends on the students - and I am not receptive to ass kissers! There are always students who had rather kiss ass than do thw work and I guess that has worked for them in the past. All I ask is that they do their best and be present and receptive. Unfortunately, for an adjunct faculty member these requirements are not enough. It is a reality check I needed. A wake up call. A gift. (This is my mantra this week.)