I need to grapple with my art today but examining the past 10 days seems easier with the working in the 90 degree heat. One week ago I was with my parents headed to the Greenwood-Leflore Hospital to see my grandmother. She had been there for 8 weeks recovering from complications from Diviticulitis. It was great spending time with her and listening to her tell the tales of Oliver Farms and its cast of characters.
When I left for Richmond at 6am on Friday morning she was on the mend, I had a 12 week old kitten with me and was driving a '96 Buick LeSabre with no AC. I will always feel in touch with that part of my ancestry when I get into that car...it is still has a slight patina of red clay, for one. It will likely take a power washer to remove it!
One reason this is weighing heavily on me now is that my sister called yesterday. She rarely calls and is difficult to reach herself. She was wailing into the phone for 10 minutes upset because I didn't come to the coast to see her. My grandmother is 85... I think she merits priority status but Elise is the baby of the family and, well, its always about her! I would have loved to have seen her. I would have
loved if she had come north to see us. She is incapable of those type of committments and doesn't have regular access to the resources that most Americans take for granted... a home, a car, a telephone. She has chosen to blame others for her misfortunes and mistakes. It breaks my heart. Bad things happen to good people everyday...to me, my brother and everyone I know. One must choose to endure and move on...there really aren't any other practical options....blaming others just prolongs the misery and the lesson is never learned.
Of course Olivers are very hard-headed... we usually have to learn a lesson at least three times before it sticks...and with some of us, that can be easily doubled or tripled! How does this affect my art?
Perhaps it gives it a certain tenacity and stubborness...